Wasted: A Memoir by Mark Johnson

() From being brought up in the ghetto to rape, murder, addiction, homelessness, and growth/recovery - this story covers it all. Pretty hard to believe this is a real account of someone's life. But sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction.

Mark Johnson was exposed to horrendous environments at a very young age. He started drug and alcohol use when he was just a child. He was also sexually assaulted and passed on the deed. Abused and confused, he created a tough persona which made him prone to addiction and crime. The reader is taken through Johnson's youth, jail time, drug struggles, and the peril of living on the streets.

But finally, with too many near-death experiences and threats on his life, he makes a longer-lasting attempt at change. Eventually, he is successfully rehabilitated. Unlike so many other addicts and ex-offenders, he is able to rebuild his life with the help of various people and organizations surrounding him. He starts his own business and tries to help others who are making an effort to improve their lives as well.

"Vanessa's soon saying she loves me. That's a license to treat her like shit. But I retreat into her arms whenever the mayhem I've caused gets too much even for me." (pg. 90)
"In jail we've learned to live on our wits, manipulate people and use violence and retaliation as a routine means of survival. And I have the Block to thank for making me an expert in brutality. What a great training ground Portland was for a life of crime: it's much easier now to do these things and not feel a qualm." (pg. 109)
"after a day and a night the party is so magical that I hate it. I wish the experience away because I know that it is going to change my life and not just change it but ruin it. And I know that this is my destiny and I have no choice." (pg. 127)
"I don't want to be this way. I hated myself for stealing from Kelly but I couldn't stop myself. Drugs have stripped away my flesh. Anything that's good and everything I've ever learned about how to behave is being lost, along with my humanity. What's left behind is hard and primitive and cares only for its own survival." (pg. 180)
"It hits me with a series of terrible photos of all I've said and done. It's like the biggest, worst hangover because I wasn't just drunk last night. I've been drunk my whole life." (pg. 261)
"I mean you've got to tell your secrets. Real secrets. All the small embarrassing things you've never told anyone, the sneaky things, the spiteful things, the grassing-up-your-mates keep-it-to-yourself kind of things that you swore you'd never tell a soul. [...] Talking about your weaknesses gives you back your power." (pg. 287)

Just Listen by Sarah Dessen

() Although this story is yet another gripping tale of growth and the individual journey of finding oneself, it again paints a portrait of an all too predictable problem, solution, and result.

However, the use of symbolism and synchronicity is undeniably beautiful. The book would be great for teens, as it is intended. Perhaps I'm just tired of hearing such similar growth stories represented in so many different ways. Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson, is a similar book; the title is now an "imprint" of the Penguin Group Inc. that publishes this kind of aimed literature - including this novel.

Spoiler Alert:
As with Speak, the root of the main female character's issues all come down to one sexual assault incident that occurs, and has the possibility to reoccur, within her day-to-day life. The solution is to talk to others and confront it. However, even though both books show a long journey taken towards reaching this discovery through both main characters, the problem and solution were just made altogether too clear for my tastes. It was almost like a "happily-ever-after" ending just because she opened her mouth. And the problem was almost unquestionable in both circumstances: a helpless girl getting attacked by a guy she barely talked to but thought was attractive. Since this book speaks about not putting things in a black and white perspective, you would think it would make the problem and solution a little grayer than that too.

The writing itself is great though, even if the story line was not original. (After all, what is truly original in this day in age?) Notable passages:
"All I wanted - all I'd ever wanted - was to just get away. To be somewhere small where I could crowd in and feel safe, all four walls pressed around me, no one staring or pointing or yelling. But here I was in the wide open, in full view. I might have just given in, [...] And something snapped in me. Snapped hard, like a bone, or a branch, a clean break." (pg. 86)
"I think you should be responsible about what you're putting out there for people to hear. If it can be pollution or art, why wouldn't you choose art?" (pg. 104)
"'[...] to be honest, the silence was worse.' 'Worse than screaming?' [...] 'Silence is... it could be anything. It's just-' 'So freaking loud,' [...] 'Exactly.'" (pg. 161)
"[...] that's worse than lying, when you really think about it. I mean, at the very least you should tell yourself the truth. If you can't trust yourself, who can you trust? You know?" (pg. 163)
"But there was something I liked about the idea of those seeds, buried so deep, having at least a chance to emerge. Even if you couldn't see it beneath the surface, molecules were bonding, energy pushing up slowly, as something worked so hard, all alone, to grow."(pg. 178)
"As I saw her, I heard Kirsten's voice in my head, explaining why she was scared to show her film: This is personal, she'd said. Real. This moment was, too, even if you couldn't tell at first glance. It was fake on the outside, but so true within. You only had to look, really look, to tell." (pg. 250)
"That with every glance, they'd no longer see me, but what had happened to me, [...] It seemed safer to hold it in, where the only one who could judge was me." (pg. 270)
"'There you are.' Like I'd been lost. Misplaced, only now turning up, like a sock you find long after you've assumed it was eaten by the dryer." (pg. 313)
"It's a funny feeling, being suddenly airborne, [...] Just as you realize it, it's over, and you're sinking. [...] All I could think was what I had always thought, even then: that this was just not fair. To get a taste of freedom, only to instantly be punished for it." (pg. 331)
"Don't think or judge, [...] Just listen." (pg. 349)