Wasted: A Memoir by Mark Johnson

() From being brought up in the ghetto to rape, murder, addiction, homelessness, and growth/recovery - this story covers it all. Pretty hard to believe this is a real account of someone's life. But sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction.

Mark Johnson was exposed to horrendous environments at a very young age. He started drug and alcohol use when he was just a child. He was also sexually assaulted and passed on the deed. Abused and confused, he created a tough persona which made him prone to addiction and crime. The reader is taken through Johnson's youth, jail time, drug struggles, and the peril of living on the streets.

But finally, with too many near-death experiences and threats on his life, he makes a longer-lasting attempt at change. Eventually, he is successfully rehabilitated. Unlike so many other addicts and ex-offenders, he is able to rebuild his life with the help of various people and organizations surrounding him. He starts his own business and tries to help others who are making an effort to improve their lives as well.

"Vanessa's soon saying she loves me. That's a license to treat her like shit. But I retreat into her arms whenever the mayhem I've caused gets too much even for me." (pg. 90)
"In jail we've learned to live on our wits, manipulate people and use violence and retaliation as a routine means of survival. And I have the Block to thank for making me an expert in brutality. What a great training ground Portland was for a life of crime: it's much easier now to do these things and not feel a qualm." (pg. 109)
"after a day and a night the party is so magical that I hate it. I wish the experience away because I know that it is going to change my life and not just change it but ruin it. And I know that this is my destiny and I have no choice." (pg. 127)
"I don't want to be this way. I hated myself for stealing from Kelly but I couldn't stop myself. Drugs have stripped away my flesh. Anything that's good and everything I've ever learned about how to behave is being lost, along with my humanity. What's left behind is hard and primitive and cares only for its own survival." (pg. 180)
"It hits me with a series of terrible photos of all I've said and done. It's like the biggest, worst hangover because I wasn't just drunk last night. I've been drunk my whole life." (pg. 261)
"I mean you've got to tell your secrets. Real secrets. All the small embarrassing things you've never told anyone, the sneaky things, the spiteful things, the grassing-up-your-mates keep-it-to-yourself kind of things that you swore you'd never tell a soul. [...] Talking about your weaknesses gives you back your power." (pg. 287)